Now, is "LA CAFE" the correct way to say "The Coffee"? — Because that is what I believe this coffee shop was named after. Let's ask Google Translation, the Oracle.

• Spanish: el café
• French: le café
• Italian: il caffè
• Portuguese: o café

Maybe it was meant to be "The Coffee Shop". Oracle, please.

• Spanish: la cafetería
• French: la cafétéria
• Italian: la mensa
• Portuguese: refeitório

Lesson of the day: ask the Oracle before you choose your restaurant's name. Changing the name is not just about swapping the billboard. You need to replace hundreds of printed materials starting with the name tag and menu, and stick with a piece of blog mocking your choice for as long as the blog hosting service company keeps it or until you have enough money to hire a lawyer who knows 72 ways to blackmail your enemy.

The Oracle, by the way, is well-mannered, does not mind performing mindlessly repetitive tasks, has all the power of the wisdom of the crowd as well as its stupidity, and sometimes has a lazy ass…. but it's free, unless God decides otherwise.