What’s the matter with the superheroes

With all those superpowers, what do they do?

  • Save a kitten from a high tree (Superman)
  • Save that damn kid playing by the Niagara falls (Superman II)
  • Catch pickpockets and petty thieves (Superman)
  • Eternally whine about living a two-faced life (Batman)
  • Save the love interest (Spider-man)
  • Internal conflicts (X-Men)

Is there someone who has the courage to create a real superhero, who overthrows corrupted government, ends conflicts in the Middle East, prevents emerging countries from becoming a military-backed dictatorship, saves Africa, and still has some time for romance? Someone who has:

  • The selflessness, agility, and patriotism (right-wing, I know) of Jack Bauer
  • The family love and easy-goingness of Homer Simpson
  • The superpower of … well, Superman
  • The wildness of Austin Powers