Thoughts on the new Transformer movie (spoilers)

The most boring hyper-tensioned 2 hours of moviewatching.
That guy doesn’t look like a nerd. No, he definitely must be a bully.
That girl doesn’t look like a teenager. Maybe she is actually a temp teacher who was ordered to relearn everything. Or an FBI agent trying to migrate into students. Time for DVD outtakes.
Why doesn’t this scorpion bot just kill everybody in 2 seconds? That definetely hit on my nerve.
Who thought this CD player bot would be funny? Kill it, smash it, melt it.
Literally tearing off the body in half (the best scene) – but isn’t this movie family-oriented? Another scene – cutting off the head is a nice way of finishing off the villain too. Do them in the night and the movie becomes Friday the 100th. Do them in the daytime and the movie becomes SawXXI. Do them with robots and voila, you have Transformers.
And nobody’s mourning over that poor two-pieces guy?
If they can choose the machine, why don’t they all become fighter planes?
Why don’t they mimic each other, to add a nice doublecrossing plot?
Where are the female bots? Aren’t they supposed to target hormone-boiling teenagers?
Why did Hugo Weaving have to voice Megatron? Where is the justification? Where is "Miiiisssttteeerrr Anderson?"

Hito-Koto