This entry is dated September 10th on the calender but I actually wrote this in October 1st. I did this to not to put a hole in the blogging calender. Just for my self-content.
After three weeks of absense I start blogging again. I stopped to blog because I didn’t feel the urge, the desire to write, for a period of time. Maybe I was simply getting boring of writing, maybe I lost the passion for any kind of writing or expressing myself, maybe I found another thing to be focused, I still am not sure.
When I wrote something, my brain got hazy and couldn’t let me focus deeply enough so that I can scoop up whatever is buried in the jumble of consciousness or unconsciousness. It might be that I simple got tired, I figured out, so let it sleep for a few days. And it went on for three weeks.
The most time and energy consuming part of writing is to focus enough to see what is left there in my tiny internal cosmos. If I am able to keep looking, sometimes I’ll see something new is fusioned, grow up into a new object which I must have been looking for. That’s pretty exciting.
For whatever reason suddenly the focusing started to become very difficult, more exhaustive. I left the subject for a couple of days and – then the desire to write started to vanish. If it made me relaxed, happy, less burdensome, that’s fine – after all I started to write because I needed another channel to let the “waste” out of my body other than my daily excretion.
But taking some rest didn’t help me either, and I think I know the reason why though I don’t write it here, and it is not simply because I stopped to write, but anyway it’s time to change some rhythm.