How to write a junk email

This is not the best one I have received, but nevertheless entertaining enough. It is one of the “Africa series” which someone in a royal family or in a respectable business (how nice) is trying to escape from an oppressive group (I bet they have a very good reason to try to catch you) and looking for a favor – usually to transfer their money to a safer place.

Dear Sir,
I am Mr. Philip Johnson and my sister is Miss Kate Johnson, we are the children of late Chief Dr. Johnson Kotobe from Sierra Leone.
I am writing you in absolute confidence primarily to seek your assistance
to transfer our cash of Ten Million Dollars ($10,000.000.00) now
in the custody of a private Security trust firm in Europe the money is
in trunk box deposited and declared as family valuables by my late father as a matter of fact the company does not know the content as money, although my father made them to under stand that the box belongs to his foreign partner.
Source of the money:
My late father Chief Dr. Johnson Kotobe of Kono District in
the Northern province of Sierra Leone, was the General Manager of Sierra
Leone Mining co-operation (S.L.M.C.) Freetown. According to my father,
this money was the income accrued from Mining Co-operation’s over draft
and minor sales.
Before the peak of the civil war between the rebel’s forces of Major
Paul Koroma and the combined forces of ECOMOG peacekeeping operation that almost destroyed my country, following the forceful removal from power of the civilian elected President Ahmed Tejan Kabbah by the rebels. My father had already made arrangement for us that is my mother, my little sister and myself to be evacuated to Abidjan Cote d’ Ivory with the
CERTIFICATE OF DEPOSIT issued to him by a security firm in South Africa with a sister security firm in Europe.
During the war in my country, and following the indiscriminate looting
of Public and Government properties by the rebel forces, the Sierra
Leone mining coop. was one of the targets looted and it was destroyed.
My father including other top Government functionaries were attached and
killed by the rebels in November 2000 because of his relationship with
the civilian Government of Ahmed Tejan Kabbah.
As a result of my father’s death, and with the news of my uncle’s involvement in the air crash in January it dashed our hope of survival.
The untimely deaths caused my mother’s heart failure and other related
complications of which she later died in the hospital after we must have
spent a lot of money on her early this year. Now my 18 years old sister and myself are alone in this strange country suffering without any care or help. Without any relation, we are now like refugees and orphans.
Our only hope now is in you and the boxes deposited in the Security
Firm. To this effect, I humbly solicit your assistance in the followings
1. To assist me claims this box from the security
Firm as our beneficiary.
2. To transfer this money (USD$10M) in your name to your country.
3. To make a good arrangement for a joint business investment on our
behalf in your country and you, our Adviser/ Manager For your assistance,
I have agreed with my younger sister that 20% of the total amount will
be for your effort and another 10 % to cover all the expenses that may incur during the business transaction.
Last, I urge you to keep this transaction strictly confidential as no one knows our where about.
Please as you show your willingness, Forward to us your full name, address and Tel/Fax numbers, to me via my private e-mail address as indicated below, this is for security reasons as I will only be accessing my private e-mail earnestly awaiting your response.
May God bless you as you assist us.
Mr. Philip Johnson & Family.

Just like everybody else, I am fed up with the flood of “Viagra” email. Use your imagination, and you can always create a pretty good one like the above although I had seen something better (too bad I discarded it)

We don’t necessary have to raise the spam filter’s level too high. There is always some possiblities we encounter something unique and refreshing.